For those who haven’t seen me lately (and thank God if you haven’t), I’m currently participating in ‘Movember’.
Movember is a campaign to raise both awareness and funds for prostate cancer and prostate cancer research. Participants grow the old moustache for the month and hope to look more like Magnum P.I. than Schneider from One Day at a Time.
I, unfortunately, fall into the latter category.
I haven’t done a lot on the fundraising side of things but I’ve certainly promoted awareness. I promote awareness in that every time I’m seen in public by friends and when introduced to strangers, I lead with “this moustache is for Movember – to promote prostate cancer research”. Why do I lead with this? If you have had the misfortune of seeing me you’d understand. I have never had a moustache. I have never tried to grow a moustache. If not for my ‘final exams beard’ in my first year of university, I’d say I’ve never had facial hair of any kind.
I lead with a disclaimer in the fear that somebody would think I am delusional enough to think that A) I am capable of growing a moustache, or B) this poor excuse for a moustache looks good on me. I mention prostate cancer everytime I notice someone looking at me just a shade too long or too closely, as in the sentence “Prostate cancer awareness is the reason I look so ridiculous right now” or “If it wasn’t for prostate cancer awareness month I’d shave this ridiculous looking thing off of my face”. You can’t buy that kind of awareness. If we all give ’til it hurts and we can beat this disease, you’ll never have to look at my lip fuzz and try to keep a straight face again!!
Please don’t get me wrong – I’m not trash talking facial hair. I respect the Lanny MacDonald’s of this world. Others with strong moustache genes, go nuts. I’m simply saying that I’ve recently come to the realization that I am folically challenged between my nose and lip. I am half Italian, but clearly not the half that includes the top lip.
At first I thought it would be a laugh to grow a moustache for a brief period, take lots of pictures of it and fifteen years down the line break out the old ‘Christmas 2009’ photo album and have the kids say how funny it was to see dad with a moustache. Now I fear they will see the pictures and wonder why dad looks like the guy at their highschool people buy pot from. ‘Creepy van guy’ – that’s the best descriptor of my moustache. I have a ‘creepy van guy’ moustache. Phooey.
So, I’ve told you all about prostate cancer. I’ve said the words prostate and cancer about 1000 times this Movember. Can I shave now??
Chow!
You decide the level of creepy (sorry Patrick, a pic had to be added - kb)